
I’m holding the flute glass with one hand while I gaze out of the window. The naughty bubbles of champagne emerge to the surface and burst into a soft prickly sensation on my face.
My skin reacts, my body giggles. “What if your whole life would be orgasmic? How much more fun could you have?”
By myself. Naked in a hotel room.
‘There’s something fascinating about people in unknown places’, I tell myself while recollecting the event of the previous evening.
There was this loud couple at the other end of the restaurant. Somewhere in their 70’s, they were holding hands across the table, laughing secretly – well loud and secretively – about something.
I got a glimpse of them from the moment I entered the dining area. They were standing out from the colourful crowd of travelling tourists, all busy with their phones and with the latest gossip on their phones and tablets. They were just holding hands and talking intensely with their eyes. There was a kind of a sweet tension swirling around the room with them in the center. Their table was quite secluded. It was hidden by a large pillar and a rich burgundy velvet curtain.
Nobody seemed to bother, nobody seemed to care. The waiter was going up and down to their table carrying bubbly glasses of champagne.
Except from noticing their presence, I wasn’t interested in anything else than just be left alone and in peace. I took out my phone from my bag, I plugged in my ear buds and patiently waited for a glass of wine while listening to the recordings of the class I had just facilitated.
The waiter approached me to take my order.
‘A glass of white wine please and a big bottle of still water. Thank you!’ I barely lifted my eyes to look at him. I kind of dismissed him with the way I talked to him.
A few moments later I lifted my eyes. He was still standing there, looking intensely at me. ‘Is there something wrong?’ I asked wondering whether there was anything I could correct in my appearance to make him stop stare. His smile was awfully disturbing.
‘Everything is beautiful, madam. Just like you!’
I chuckled. ‘great, so why the fuck are you still standing and staring at me? – I asked in my mind.
‘I’m just waiting for your order. I thought it would not be polite to interfere while you were so caught up in your listening. If you’d like, I can come back a bit later’ he continued looking me straight in the eyes.
I opened my mouth and I shut up. There was a kindness in that man standing in front of me, willing to be of service to the best of his abilities that annoyed me to the point I could just rip his head off.
“As I said, I paused suddenly with the awareness of the energies playing in the room…
May I please have a glass of champagne, please? And a bottle of still water, maybe?”
‘Certainly, madam, I’ll be right back’.
He turned on his heels with elegance and grace and walked to the bar area. If I didn’t know better, I would have said he’s a handsome guy. Not that he wasn’t, but there was way more than that. He had no resistance to being dismissed or rejected, he had no interest in being anything or anyone else than himself: present, willing, serving and space.
I sigh.
“What if you allowed your whole life to be an orgasmic experience? – my own words were echoing into my body through my headset.
I took a deep breath, I sank in my armchair and rested my head on the soft cushion at the back. I unplugged my headset and I allowed myself to be. present. With all of it.
With the absence of my fellow diner people, with the giggly couple, with the numbness and the fizziness, with the kindness and all the walls and barriers in our lives.
I must have closed my eyes. Yet I knew that he was standing next to me.
“Your glass of champagne, madam, and a pastry to please your palate, with compliments from the chef.”
He bowed to gently set the glass of water on the bright white table cloth. Then the champagne flute to the right. I lifted myself from the softness of my cosy chair to grab the glass. A bit too quick… My fingers flared his fingers. And my breath stopped with the immensity of a shared moment from far beyond the reality of the restaurant. There was this sense of acknowledgement of the greatness life is. We recognized each other. We were.
“What if every instant of your life would be orgasmic?” – my own words reverberated from my phone which continued to play the recording.
“It would be so much more fun!” he answered.
We both burst out laughing. Loudly. Shaking the walls and barriers of all around us. Heads turned up and towards us, faces were frowning, bodies were turned on.
The old couple was watching with a sense of knowing. Presence was their secret.
“Well, this was kind of awkward, wasn’t it? the waiter asked me barely containing his joy. Let’s do this again some other time! For what it is, we surely changed the world tonight! He winked and left my table.
I took a sip of champagne and allowed the bubbles to tickle my mouth and dance on my tongue. Orgasmic!
I went to my room and plunged in my bath.
What is it about kindness that we are not willing to receive? What superiority are we about to claim when we build up those walls of separation between us? Whose lies, what lies, how many lies are we making real and true with our unwillingness to be the ease, the joy and the glory of being?
What have we made so valuable about not being present that keeps us from enjoying the orgasmic life we would love to have, instead of being the space of true intimacy with ourselves that would actualize a totally different reality for us and the whole planet? What if every instant of our life could be orgasmic? I wonder…
I’m holding the flute glass with one hand while I gaze out of the window. The naughty bubbles of champagne emerge to the surface and burst into a soft prickly sensation on my face. My skin reacts, my body giggles. “What if your whole life would be orgasmic? How much more fun could you have?”
I’m by myself. Naked in a hotel room.